Saturday, October 10, 2009

Contemplating

I didn't write much earlier, instead I just posted my skirt pictures to conclude the challenge.  I was, and still am, so behind in emails and blogs.  I'm realizing though, as much as I want to be caught up...I've spent the day focusing on the wrong priorities.  I feel a little guilty about this even though I did more today then I would've done on a typical day 2 months ago. 

I really feel like I need a lady, a positive, encouraging lady, to take me under their wing and teach me about cooking and baking and housework.  I need someone to help me out as if I was just a child learning...as that's basically what I am...except a little older.  I let fear get in the way of me trying and experimenting with even the most basic of household tasks...but I know and desire to learn how to be a better housekeeper. 

I want to prepare myself for when I have a family and be able to look after my husband, children, and house.  I feel I missed out on many learning opportunities because of my past health...but things have changed and I'm doing so much better.  I want to serve God, live for Him and please Him in all I do...but I keep getting stuck.  That fear, it's something I think is holding me back from life.  So instead, I fall back into a routine of computer surfing, and pretend all these things that I should be doing don't exist. 

I want to start attending church again...I'm planning to go to one this weekend and am hoping it will be the right one for me. 

I want to start planning out some meals...even if it's only one a week, or every other week for that matter.  I want to get more done around the apartment.  I want to learn to sew.  I want...I want...I want...

Let me stop myself there.  I need to ask what God wants...what do You want Lord?  I want to serve You.

4 comments:

The Queen of Clearance. said...

I really want to be a better house keeper too! I feel like My husband and I cannot have children until I am ready to keep house properly. I mean I pick up and stuff but Im not much for actually getting on my hands and knees and cleaning...I hate it. I wish I could learn how to fit it into my day and not feel like it takes up my whole day. How to mommies do it?

GoldenLadyNiecy said...

Everything happens at it's appointed time. I thought it would be easy being a Career Woman and Wife and Step-Mama. HA!!! I found out how hard it is and I know how to cook and clean and sew!!! So sweetie just use this AWESOME time to be you and discover all the brilliant talents that Our Good Lord has Blessed you with.
Oodles of Hugs and Love,
Niecy

Toronto Yardsaler said...

Hello,
I just noticed you became a Follower of my blog. I will add you to my links and I've become a follower of your blog too. Thanks a bunch.
Please leave me a comment telling me about what you collect and you'll be included in my thrifting contest.
Cheers,
Erin

Krystyn said...

Good luck with finding somebody to take you under their wings. Maybe church would be the best place to start for all of that.

Planning helps, too.